Sketchy crew

Jemele Hill is on ESPN’s Page 2 talking about Plaxico Burress today and once again, she is driving me insane. She makes some decent points about how the media is letting Burress’ allegedly complicit teammate off the hook, but then she saves some criticism for New York City Mayor Bloomberg and she falls off the rails.

I’m not saying Burress deserves any sympathy, because the moment he decided to attend a nightclub with an unlicensed, loaded firearm tucked in his waistband, he was jeopardizing his life and the lives of others. But did Burress’ actions warrant Bloomberg’s irrational grandstanding? You’d think the mayor of the nation’s largest city would have bigger concerns than the stupidity of a professional athlete. But since when do politicians pass on an opportunity to make themselves the center of attention?

“If we don’t prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law, I don’t know who on earth would,” Bloomberg said Monday. “It makes a sham, a mockery of the law. And it’s pretty hard to argue the guy didn’t have a gun and that it wasn’t loaded. You’ve got bullet holes in and out to show that it was there.”

First of all, the whole argument of, “I would think this guy would have bigger problems” is a commonly used argument that logistically is a sham. We are complex beings and we can do multiple things at once. I am surprised Jemele Hill has time to write articles on chaturbaterooms.com when she isn’t keeping herself alive by eating and breathing while living under shelter. You see how stupid that is? The mayor of New York can express concern about someone blatantly violating NYC gun laws while still paying attention to any number of other things. They aren’t mutually exclusive. Please can we stop using this argument?

Jemele further digs into a hole with some race baiting.

Why wasn’t the mayor as willing to stand on his soapbox when New York City police officers shot and killed Sean Bell? Bloomberg called for a “thorough” investigation at that time, but he didn’t damn those police officers the way he did Burress. (All three officers were acquitted earlier this year.)

(Head ready to explode.) POLICE OFFICERS DESERVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. PLAXICO BURRESS IS NOT A POLICE OFFICER. On top of this, if you read about the Sean Bell case it isn’t as clear cut as an athlete who is CLEARLY guilty of having a gun in a place where he wasn’t allowed to have a gun, without a license and also handling it in about as hazardous a manner as you can handle a firearm, short of giving it to a child in a crib.

Finally Jemele cements herself as a desperate columnist who will stop at nothing to make a point even if it is based in non-sequiters and base level emotional manipulation. IE the economy is hurting people right now. I will link Bloomberg to the bailout and Wall Street in order to criticize his opinion on unlicensed guns floating around the city he is responsible for.

I also wonder why Bloomberg didn’t act this outraged after the American people were forced to bail out some of his Wall Street buddies because of their bad decisions?

Do you wonder why? I don’t. He might be outraged, but it isn’t necessarily in his best interest or under his jurisdiction to make a comment about his Wall Street buddies. Someone carrying a gun in the city is a Bloomberg issue. Wall Street’s federal bailout is NOT necessarily a Bloomberg issue. See, there is no need to wonder. It is easy to see.

Then again, what could I possibly expect from a “columnist” who is so consistently off the mark and hypocritical.

I have been meaning to talk more politics now that it is all over. I said from day one of this election that I was 50/50 on these two candidates. Despite their various smear campaigns, these two candidates were both capable and potentially great presidential material. I think they both had positives and negatives. In the end, it appears that timing and the GW Bush effect made it impossible for anyone to compete with a charismatic, competent candidate like Barack Obama. It was handed to him on a silver platter in some respects, but he made a lot of great decisions along the way too, including not letting Joe Biden get overexposed.

Anyway, I write in bullet points a lot lately over on the sports site, so I am going to stick to bullets here too. I am just not thinking effectively in organized narratives lately. Maybe I am just being lazy. Sue me. It is a blog, people.

This makes me very happy.

As I said before, I was going to be happy with either McCain or Obama. I don’t know that Obama is going to come up with the right plan for health care, education, or the budget. Nobody ever knows those answers for sure. That being said, I think McCain and Obama both had pretty good priorities. Hopefully Obama’s plan works. I do have concerns that Obama’s tax plans and health plans will negatively affect small businesses’ ability to be competitive and continue to employ as many people as possible, but those are clearly outweighed for me by the potential for Obama’s lofty goals if he hits them.

He has certainly raised the bar high and it will be interesting to see what he ends up succeeding on and which ideas end up eluding him. I don’t have that same sense of negativity that I had during the last election. And don’t think that I am saying that just because of George W. Bush. One lesson we learned during this election cycle is just how bad a campaign John Kerry ran. Let’s hope Obama’s effectiveness at campaigning translates better to success in the Oval Office than it did for GW Bush.

Kobe Bryant has an opt-out clause in his contract after this season. Kobe Bryant has already seen all of what Los Angeles has to offer. He has tried to be the cornerstone of the franchise and he hasn’t been able to get over the top since Shaq left. Now, after playing in the Olympics with LeBron James, Kobe probably thinks he can improve his career and legacy by moving to Cleveland. In Cleveland, he can share the court with another superstar like he did when Shaq was in Los Angeles. And this jasminlive superstar, LeBron, is an unselfish player who can help Kobe cement his legacy as a hall of famer with multiple championships to finish his career.

So, while most people claim that big named players need to be in big cities, the truth is they just need to be in high profile situations winning multiple championships. Because of LeBron James, there is no better place to go and make that happen other than Cleveland.

So, now, all we have to do is find someone who is “close to Kobe Bryant” and lead them into saying that Kobe “would consider opting out of his contract” after the upcoming season. Then, we need to goad this same “insider” into saying something innocent like, “Kobe has really enjoyed playing in the Olympics with LeBron.” And then we can extrapolate (unnecessarily and idiotically) saying that it is possible, and possibly likely, that Kobe Bryant is going to opt out of his contract at the end of this season with the express purpose of coming to Cleveland to play with LeBron James and win championships.

You see? I am making a point. This is really the same way that the big media outlets speculate on LeBron going to NYC, or Europe. So how do you like me now?

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the first Kobe to Clevland rumor. Could it happen??!?!?!??!??

YES!!!!

The Mullet Hunter

This weekend I went to see a friend play music. My friend is a RIDICULOUS musician so he gets lots of unique opportunities to play. This weekend brought the opportunity to play in a Deep Purple tribute band, but that isn’t important. What is important is that I came across a unique specimen of mullet.

A few things to notice.

Bangs accentuated by useless sunglass positioning in the hair

Fanny pack camera bag

white jeans

black tee-tank

fake tan for days

jeans tucked into boots

croakies

a bit of a dirt stache

I move to town and the best businesses start to go under! Who would have thought that I would have this much bad luck. Guess I will need to find another place to go for my “massages.”

But seriously, folks… (pulls on collar.)

So, I was driving through Chesterland and I saw the sheriff boarding up Silver Spa and having a press conference with some local jasminelive media. While everything is all alleged at this point, a quick google search revealed a message board where certain gentlemen exchanged notes on details of special “massages.” If half these stories from the message board are true, then the folks at Silver Spa could be in serious trouble.

Warning. If you click to read the rest of the story, you may read some graphic quotes about services that might or might not have been procured at Silver Spa in Chesterland.

If this was Ken Shamrock in the 90’s it might be meaningful. You know, when Ken Shamrock wasn’t 44 and winless over his previous four years? Kimbo Slice is the youtube, backyard sensation who occasionally fights on CBS as a part of the EliteXC branding of mixed martial arts. He might be the scariest looking dude on the face of the planet. He is one part Hulk Hogan, one part Mister T, along with one part of Junkyard Dog. At the same time, he has been pretty humble as he begins his MMA career. He always claims that he has a lot more to learn.

With that being said, is this match set for October 4th on CBS the right stepping stone for Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson? Is this the equivalent of when the UFC put Brock Lesnar against Frank Mir? Or is it an even lower rent version of that?

Frank Mir had disappeared from the competitive landscape before his fight with Lesnar, mostly due to a motorcycle accident in 2004, but even as of this writing the dude is only 29 years old. Ken Shamrock had a considerably more impressive career than Frank Mir, but the dude is 44 years old now and he hasn’t looked formidable in years.

Shamrock certainly doesn’t look as impressive as he did the day I sold him a set of electric ear and nose hair trimmers in Brookstone in the Copley mall in Boston. (True story. Wrestlemania was in town and Ken was in the WWF now WWE for a shot at the Intercontinental belt. See how I pushed that story in here for no apparent reason?)

Anyway, it should make for an entertaining fight at EliteXC on October 4th on CBS, and it definitely is another step up in opponents for Kimbo Slice. At the same time, it also proves Dana White’s point when he scoffs at Kimbo Slice as a formidable MMA fighter. White is on record as saying that Kimbo Slice is an interesting personality, but that he would get smashed by pretty much any fighter that the UFC has under contract.

There is certainly no way of knowing for sure based on who Kimbo Slice has fought thus far, and Ken Shamrock probably won’t be able to provide any kind of proof one way or the other.